Relationship: Memory Box

There was a little girl who got a scrap from her teacher for being the best student in the class. She was very happy and kept it with her all her life even after she got married. Whenever she was nagged for being inefficient and incapable in future she looked at it and got the strength from it and lived her life happily without feeling dejected. It was a reminder that she was the best. The central idea out here is that always keep with you the mementoes and moments that play a vital role in your life and boost you up when you feel low. These moments are could be anything, a greeting card which you received from your lover when you met for the for the first time ,old movie tickets, passes of a theater or dried flower which your lover gave you long time back. There are husband who keep the first sweater knitted by their wives till date as a special souvenir of their love. There are many wives who keep the first dress presented by their husbands as a reminder of love. Such are the couples who build a strong and long relationship.

Such souvenirs are a booster in your life that remind you of the happy days and moments of your life and pep you up. They bring back that life in you that you had once. Just a look at those reminders fills a kind of energy in you and revitalizes your faded love.
Always keep such souvenirs as greetings cards, movie tickets, love notes, anniversaries cards from your mate and many other things you did r and enjoyed together, in a memory box. Make a memory box, a drawer or any convenient place where you can just open and see these mementoes that remind you of the happy times spent together.

Whenever you are feeling low and find the love to be fading out of your relationship then open the memory box and feel back the lost love. Remember the special time spent together and enliven your relationship. You will fall in love again with the same vigor and vitality. Just the look at those mementoes makes you happy and makes you realize that the love is still there. They take you to the best time of your life and freshens you up.
When your lover is too busy and does not have time for you do not sulk and feel low but look at those mementos remember the happy times spend together. You feel the presence of your mate and realize that he loves you; it’s just the work that’s keeping your partner away from you and nothing else. Many times when our partner is not with us because of some genuine problem at times we go too far to think in the negative. Do not assume in the negative. Only a look at it will fill you with positive feelings and always remind you of the love between you and your partner.


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No Jealousy Allowed

A healthy relationship is all about loving, caring and showing concern for each other. But at times such fine feelings and emotions turn into jealousy which is incorrect. Generally it is seen that when any of the partner acquires some kind of personal achievement the other partner feel happy for him or her but at times this is not the case. When either of the mates gets a promotion at work, or achieves a great feat then some of their partner feel a spark of jealousy. They feel inferior in front of the achiever and feel a sense of insecurity. Do you feel the same when your partner gets some kind of achievement? If yes then you’d better change your attitude and talk about it to your partner. It will save your relationship from drifting.

There are times when either of the partners does very well and moves on the ladder of success to fast in such times you feel left behind and ignored. Therefore you feel jealous and rejected. Well this could not be the real case, your partner not being able to give you enough time would be due to the busy schedule as with achievement responsibilities increase and you could be thinking the other way round. It is nothing but misunderstanding. You need to talk about it to get complete assurance from your partner.
The partners need to trust each other as it the very base of a relationship. You should learn to be happy with the progress of your partner and have complete trust in him or her. If you really love your mate then his or her success will make you happy as you too will feel that success and move forward. Trust that your partner will not ignore you and will not forget you when he or she gets success in life. Talk to him and express your feelings. Communication is the way for solutions. Let your partner know what you feel on his success and why you feel like that. Your partner will understand you and comfort you giving assurance. You mate will appreciate your honesty. It is best to clear misunderstandings rather than spoil a relationship. Clear those clouds from your relationship and make it a bright and shining.

Mostly we face disappointments as we expect too much from our partners and are unrealistic in our expectations. We should understand that to be professional and get success in work one has to pay for it and it is the family that has to make adjustments. This at times leads to a split in a relationship. Do not expect your man to hold your and keep loving you all day he has to go to work. Do not expect your woman to be working all day in the house she has her career to pursue. You need to give space to your partner and understand each other. You have to be realistic in your approach and not live completely in a romantic world.

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Learn more about your mate

How much do you know about your mate? Well if you think that you know your partner cent percent you could be wrong. It takes years to know each other well. I do not mean that you are not aware of anything about your mate but there are certain things that you never ever talked about. For example you must have not talked about SUPW (socially useful productive work) you did in school and your mate does not know that you are good at making hand crafts and after marriage you just left it. Or maybe your partner was a good hockey in school days and left playing after school and you are unaware of that. There could be different things and qualities which you could be unacquainted with about your partner.

Learn about your mate just the way you learnt about your friends when you were in school. Remember how you filled those questionnaires? Your friend’s favorite color, his or her favorite pastime, favorite book and so on. You could do the same with your mate. It is good exercise and a good method of studying your mate. Get a diary construct your own questions, something you never talked about all these years and discover a new person that is your soul partner. You will be amazed to find out so many things you had not known before.

There will be a lot of things that you will learn about your spouse. You will find out that your mate loves collecting chestnuts, especially the ones with the flat base. This is what she used to do when she was in school and would still love to collect them, although she does not do it out of shyness and considering her to be grown up. You could also learn that your mate loved playing marbles but now he neither has those school friends nor time to play the game of marbles.

Exploring about your partners is such a way help you so many things about him that you never were aware of. And when you realize these traits and behavior then encourage your partner to revive those lost habits and activities. Go with your mate to collect chestnut during the season. It will make her happy and you both will get time to be together in ecstasy. Play the game of marbles with your spouse and let him refresh and enjoy his past days. It not only will give your partner pleasure but all the past bygone days will be revived. Your mate will be extremely thankful to you for that and will love more for such an encouragement. IT gives pleasure to both and is also a good way to be together. Finding out about your mate is interesting as well as exciting. You learn a lot about your partner that you had not known before. You at times discover a completely different person in your spouse that impresses you and wonder how you could not find those hidden qualities.

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Surprise Your Love

Has dating unknowingly become just a habit to you? Becoming not as fun and exciting as before, as when the both of you just started going out together? Well, I am not suggesting that there’s any problem in your relationship. In fact this is something very common. Along time, as a couple get to know and understand each other better, they naturally enter into a comfort zone with one another. It’s within this comfort zone that they begin to share with one another more of their own personal life, building a mutual trust and a stronger bond in the relationship. However, it’s also at this time when all the surprises and excitements somehow get lesser and lesser during their dates. Both have got so comfortable with one another that there’s basically not the need for them to impress one another as during their initial dates anymore. Sadly, dating has become more of like a routine and habit to them.



To most guys routine dates are actually ok but again, things might not usually be the case for the girls. Hmm… maybe before I go on, just a piece of advice for the guys. Well guys, though the girls might not be complaining but believe me, deep down inside them they are still longing for that surprises. Let’s not disappoint them, shall we? And well girls, please do understand that guys are afterall still guys. They are just naturally less insensitive creature, just not that good in expressing themselves. But that doesn’t mean that they don’t care about you?



Well nevertheless, I believe everyone love surprises and excitement. Hmm… life would be so boring without them, don’t you agree? There would be nothing to look forward to. The same goes for love. Recall all those sweet moments you had when the both of you just started dating. Wasn’t love or perhaps life so fun and exciting then; always looking forward to the next date, wondering what surprises would be there for you?



Using a little imagination; planning little surprises for your love would definitely spice up your love life, going a long way in maintaining the flames of love. I am sure you want an interesting love life, always making your love happy? Remember, when your love is happy, happy you will be.



Hmm… Perhaps a monthly anniversary celebration for a start? A day in each month which both could look forward to an exciting and romantic night together? Oh isn’t that lovely? Think about it…

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Rick Valens Staff Writer http://www.loveletterbox.com Love Relationship Discussion Forum NOTE: You're free to republish this article on your website, in your newsletter, in your e-book or in other publications provided that the article is reproduced in its entirety, including the author information and all live website link as above.









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Make Eye Contact

The eye says it all. You can read a person’s feelings by just a look in the eyes. Eyes portray a man’s true feelings. So whenever you want to know how exactly a person is feeling have a look into his or her eyes. Eyes convey all love, affection, anger, hope, joy and other innumerable emotions. But love is expressed best through the eyes. The eyes are the mirror of your heart.

It has been said often that you cannot hide love as it is seen through your eyes and the eyes do not lie. If you love somebody it is clearly seen in your eyes. Eye contact is must to enhance your love as it is only through eye contact that men listen to your feelings and feel aroused. When you feel that your mate is not showing much interest in you make eye contact with him as it helps to bring out the true emotions hidden inside. Remember the first time you met it was the eye contact that made you realize that you love each other or made you fall in love with each other. There is something magical about the eyes that get people closer.

Whenever you are at a gathering, attending a dinner with friends, or a party make an eye contact with your partner so that he feels close to you although sitting across and with so many other people present out there. It is a way to express your thoughts. It makes your partner realize that you are always by his side. Such an act is necessary as it never lets your love fade.

An eye contact gives support to your partner especially when your mate is in a big gathering and giving some speech or addressing a big crowd. It is important as it gives him the assurance that you are there for him right behind him. Just look directly to him and make him feel comfortable. The male partner can also do the same for his female partner.

“Love enters a man through his eyes, woman through her ears”. Well an eye contact is really important to show your love to the man in your life. A man feels more loved when his lover just gives him a look into the eyes. You don’t need to speak out mountains of words to express you love to him. Your eyes tell him everything. An eye contact with your male partner enhances his love for you as with an eye contact your partner feels loved. You do not have to say it in words your eyes say everything to him.

So even if your relationship has grown old make an eye contact to express your love and enhance love in your relationship as many couples feel that love fades from their relationship with the passage of time. Eye contact does it all for a relationship that is loosing the charm and love. So never forget to make an eye contact and let there be love all around you.

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How To Say I Love You! A Short Powerful List.

Love is more than words. It is more than an occasional gift. Love is a commitment to another person that shows itself in our willingness to adapt to and cooperate with another person. It is hard work.

As the years pass, it requires more than any-old-gift to show genuine love. But, if we have been paying attention, we know more about what is important to our partner. We are better at loving.
Loving is the most rewarding thing a person can do. It is rewarding not only in that it provides us companionship with another person, it is also rewarding because, in the process of coming to understand and work with another person, we become more sensitive, more tender, and more unselfish. It makes us into better humans.
Love can give great satisfaction and enjoyment forever. For that to happen, you have to understand more about what love, your own expectations is and how to get the partner with whom you can live in love.

All of the Languages

Some people may think that the great evidence of love is the oft-repeated words: "I love you." But love is more than words. It requires us to notice what is important to our partners. For example, if you were to give a very expensive dog to your partner as a gift, it would only be an effective evidence of love if your partner wanted a dog. For many partners such a gift would be a sign of insensitivity.

People like to be shown love in different ways. These different ways might be thought of as different languages of love. When we really love another person we study what is important to him or her. We customize our messages of love to fit our partner‘s preferences.

Words of Affection

One language of love is telling. Some people love to hear words of affection. "I love you." "I enjoy being with you." "You mean so much to me." Some people want to hear such words every day, maybe even several times every day. Yet some people think that words are not enough or not a meaningful demonstration of love.

Love in Action

Another language is showing. Some people want to see love in action. "If you love me, help me around the house." "If you love me, make time to be with me." "Show me your love by the way you help with the children." For some people, actions speak much louder than words.

Feeling of touch

Another language is touching. Some people love to hug and cuddle. They appreciate a partner who holds his or her hand. They may like to sit close. Physical closeness is important to them.

Other Languages of Love

There are other powerful languages of love: taking time and showing understanding. These two languages are so important that a separate unit is dedicated to each of them. Since languages of love are also important in our relationships with our children, there are units on that subject in this series.

Gladly accept your partner‘s efforts to show you love while sending clear messages about your preferences. Sometimes we become impatient with our partner‘s efforts to show us love. Sometimes our languages are so different from each other that it is hard for either of us to get the message through. We can choose to appreciate our partner’s best efforts and we can keep trying to be more effective in our own efforts to show love.

Loving takes effort. That is good news! Real love requires a real commitment and it leads to real growth. You can never show love perfectly but you can keep trying. The willingness to keep trying is part of the message of love.

About Author

Abagaile Odalis is a family and relationship professional with 12 years of experience in this field. She has written two revolutionary books on how to Seduce Women and the other to Attract Men.



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Relationship: Lighten Up

Don’t get serious all the time. Poke fun at yourself and your partner. Just lighten the mood. Happy people take themselves lightly. The key to a happy relationship is laughter and fun. Laughter is the medicine that helps you reduce the stress you are undergoing. Try not to take things seriously all the time. Laugh and have fun it will help you face problems in a better way. Be happy and make other happy.

Often when couples are going through some bumpy spots in their relationship things get serious. The reason could be some serious tension or something they don’t know, whatever the reason learn to lighten up the mood. You don’t have to take things seriously all the time. You do not have to take every comment, every remark or a look seriously. If any of the partners makes a mistake let it go. After all it is from the mistakes you improve. If you make a mistake not to forget to poke fun at yourself it only lightens the tension. Just drag the sense of humor out of you, learn to be jolly and fun loving.

Are you happy with yourself? Are you happy with your relationship? Do you have fun in life? If not then who is responsible. It is in individual’s hands to make him or her happy, and it is in the hands of the partners together to make their relationship happy. While fulfilling the daily demands of home, work society commitment etc we forget to entertain ourselves. We just forget to have fun and enjoy life. Try to take things easy in life as they will help you fulfill your demands in a better and easier way. Learn to relax and have fun along with your work and mistakes you make.

The best way to ruin your life is to take away laughter from your life.
Laughter and fun have a magnetic power in them, they always attract. People always love to be with people who make you laugh and lighten the tensed mood. Have fun together. It has been rightly said-Couples who play together stay together. Have fun with your partner and your children. Enjoy every moment of time spent together.
Have fun at dinner table rather than sitting quietly or just having formal talks.

Happiness is a choice. You are the creator of your own happiness. It is in your hands to be or not to be happy. The choice is yours. So if you really want to be happy and are not happy lighten your mood. Whenever you are tensed in your relationship or work try to release the stress either by laughing at your mistake or if you cannot do that then watch a light comedy film. Remember that you are responsible for your happiness and for that always remember to lighten up the tension thus making you and your partner happy. Therefore take the remarks positively and lightly.

The fun factor in a relationship has its own significance. Be light hearted and let things going. Take things seriously but at the same time have fun be light hearted. If you cannot change things accept them and are happy.

Build a positive attitude! Always look at the brighter side of life. Try not to look or take statements or remarks of your partner in the negative. Accept the criticism and learn to improve yourself. A negative remark made by your partner is always not to let you down but to point out your weakness and make you better.


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Being Romantic for a Change

Honestly, I do not know anyone who is romantic nowadays other than me and a few people I have met online. Is romance fading from our lives? And why is it always looked at as a silly trivial thing? Are not dreamy romantic people considered losers by some?



For me, romance is simply life. I have a romantic outlook and attitude. I do not have to be in love with someone to be romantic. However, I am in love with life and with "love" itself. I am in love with my dreams.



Romance gives that special aroma and color to life. Daydreaming is romantic. Sitting in your garden is romantic. Listening to music and writing is romantic.



You may be romantic and not even know it!



To me the "little" things in life are romantic.



Why not take time everyday for a short walk, even if only around your house, thinking of nothing but your dreams?



Why not take the time to smell the roses on your way home, appreciate nature or listen to the rain?



Yes, I know. You have NO time. And who does those things anyway?



If you do not do such things now, then when? If you do not enjoy as much time as you can with your loved ones, when will you be able to do it? When you are sixty?



By then, THEY will have no time for you.



Try doing more "little" things every single day whether to yourself or those you care about.



Listen more to the people who matter to you. Talk to them more often. If you can not call them for any reason, email them. Just do not lose touch with them.



Admire the world around you. I know the world is such a cruel place now. Yet, there is still some beauty left.



Smile and hug your sweetheart more often. For NO reason.



Remember you work for the people you love. Money can never take your place. Do not overwork. Take time to be with your family and to have more time for yourself.



Start doing the things you love. Believe me, you will feel a lot happier.



Appreciate life so it can appreciate you.



Be romantic!

About Author

Marwa Ayad is a young Egyptian pharmacist and an aspiring author/freelance writer. A few poems of hers have been published online and in poetry anthologies among other things. A few coming projects of her are still in the making. To learn more about her, visit http://www.marwaayad.bravehost.comTo visit Marwa's blog, go to http://onedarkfairy.blogspot.com









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Be Creative

People all around the world exchange words of love. Wonder how many people must have expressed these words of love? Mostly people say it in a simple way “I love you” with a bouquet of flower or a soft kiss. It is not a new notion but something that has been done since ages. Each one of us falls in love and find out ways to express our love. Yet there are married couples who often remind each other that they love one another in different ways. Most of the people go for the normal way of expressing their feelings.
But there are great lovers who adopt various methods to show their emotions. Conveying your love in such a different style makes your love life interesting and exciting and as often said interest and excitement are essential for a relationship especially that this not very new.

Instead of simply saying three words “I love you” do something new to express these words. There are various ways of articulating your love. Be creative and come up with innovative ideas. You could do some creative writing and stick it on the bathroom door so that early morning he or she receives your love note and is filled with a smile early morning.

A wonderful suggestion is to request your mate’s favorite song along with a love message on a radio station that could be played while he is driving home tired from his work. Such an act of yours will help vanish his tiredness and make him feel refreshed.
You could also assort songs that you both like in a CD or a cassette player and give her while she is going for work. It will make her active and in high spirits.
Being creative adds freshness to a relationship. If such steps are not taken, it makes a quite boring. Couples in a relationship do require some kind of change otherwise their relationship gets monotonous. Just expressing your love in a different way is in itself a change. You should be creative and not consider such actions as immature or childish. They are just a way to make your relationship filled with excitement and entertainment. It is a life living with a difference.

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Embrace Change

Life is all about changes. Nothing remains the same in life. Even the nature changes with the passage of time. The physical landscape also tends to change although it takes ages but it does change. So change in life is inevitable. Since childhood till old age all of us face many changes in life. The people around us change. We do not find them the same as before. But at times people are not able to adjust to such modification in life and as a result find it difficult to cope up in life.

Generally it is the couples in a relationship who have difficulty adjusting as they feel their partner have changed. Most of the couples forget that as we grow we tend to change physically as well as in nature. As a person grows and matures he or she develops different views about different things. Most of the couples find it difficult to adjust as they feel that their partners have changed. To couples their partners do not appear the same as they were during the initial years of their marriage. As a result they are disappointed and often result in adjustment problems and at times they come to point of separation.

Most of the people do not like to accept changes especially when it comes to their partners. People prefer their partners to be the same and do not like if the change. But one thing we all must remember that change is inevitable. As a person matures he or she sees things differently. When you were a kid life was different for you and your views and thoughts were not the same as they are now. You react to things not in the same manner as you did when you were a kid. So we should know that it is normal and happens with all. We should learn to embrace changes and understand our partners. At times what couples do is that they do accept the changes and not try to understand each other. Thus a good relationship comes to an end. Couples should understand and give time to each other to make adjustment. You could sit together and try to make each other understand how you see things now compared to earlier days. You should be honest with each other and frank as to tell how you feel about different things as compared to earlier days. There is more than often a different outlook in a kid, a teenager and a youth, an adult and an aged person. Your perception, your outlook and feelings and emotions change with time as you grow. Therefore couples should develop an understanding attitude and embrace each other with the changes.

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Take Pride in Yourself

It is a fact that as a relationship grows old it starts loosing the charm. You as couples stop doing a lot of things that you initially did. You stop caring for yourself, your dress up and many other things. As couples you stop cuddling each other less, you stop enjoying and playing with each other. This kind of ignorance towards you and your partner affects a relationship. A relationship looses the excitement and interest that was there in the beginning. Your relationship becomes monotonous with no enthusiasm. Get up! And get some life in you. Do something exciting, after all life is all about living, living in high spirits. You need to make your life spicy. So get back to what you were at the start and get that lost love back.

Ponder over all the things you did when you started your life together. How you dressed up? How you treated each other? What were the qualities and activities of yours that attracted your partner towards you? Follow them again and see your relationship revive.
There must be a lot of things that you initially did but now with the passage of time must have stopped. Start with that all over again. If you no more give attention to yourself then begin it right now as each one of us like our partner to look good and attractive. Take pride in your self and make yourself appealing and lively. Look at your outfit does it attract people in the same way as it did initially. As time passes by couple stop paying attention towards their dress up and over all look. Especially the females should give extra time to themselves now and then to look attractive. And the men too should make it a point to look attractive and not be shabbily dressed. With time responsibilities grow but that does not mean that people should stop caring about them. When you give extra time to yourself it makes you feel good and lively, you dress up well and apply make up and your partner will definitely wouldn’t stop him from complementing you and you would off course be happy. Such little things make your life exciting and interesting.

A lot of activities that you did earlier can be revived. If you used to sit together for hours and chat the take out some time and sit together to have a sweet conversation. Talk about what all you did in the early years of your marriage and you would want to them again. You both could decide to go to a dance club that you initially did and enjoy dancing and the company of your partner. Go for morning walks together and enjoy the fresh breeze. This will not just fresh you up but will refresh your relationship. Most of the times the couples stop going for walks and morning exercises due to lack of time and laziness. This should not be the way. They should make it a point to go for walks together or exercise together as it makes you as well as your relationship healthy. Such activities keep you out of stress and make you energetic. When you feel energetic your relationship too will feel energetic and lively.

So couples should always never sit back comfortably in their corners when a relationship gets old. They should give time to themselves as well as each other to making their relationship rocking and not boring.

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Motivate each other

Motivation in life is necessary as without it life is meaningless. Motivation helps to move forward in life and achieve what one wants. If there is no motivation the chances of success slow down. Here the success does not merely mean something very big but success at all levels.

For a healthy and prosperous relation learn to motivate each other. There are so many things in life that al of us want do but unfortunately are unable to do so due to many reasons. As couples you know about the dreams and desires of your partners. You could always encourage each other to fulfill that dream. You or your partner’s dream could be any from opening a cafeteria or writing a screenplay or participating in some dance or sports competition or buy a vintage car. Whatever the dream just motivate your partner to achieve it. If your partner wants to open a cafeteria both of you can work together on it. Look for the place where you could open it and if the place is already set in your mind and is available then work on the related area under discussion such as the interior, the staff arrangement and so on. Motivating your partner and working together is great fun and help the partners to be close to each other. Moreover if you are the motivating factor then your partner holds you with more respect. On achieving your goal the two of you could take a romantic weekend vacation as a reward and enjoy the company of each other that is stress free with no worries and only happiness. There is an added enjoyment of achievement of your goal and being together.

If your partner’s goal is to but a vintage car then encourage him and find the best way to obtain the best vintage car. Then as a reward you both could go for a long journey on that car and enjoy the drive on the old car. Or if you want to write scripts then go about it. Work together on it and enjoy the success of it on the completion of the script.

Motivating each other is essential as it is together hand in hand one can achieve success faster and with confidence. If you know that your partner is there to support you from behind there is no fear of failure and you feel confident about achieving your aim. That fear of being alone and how to go about it is overcome as you have a helping hand by your side. Therefore it is necessary that partners understand each others desires and help each other in acquiring them. After all partners come together in a bond not only for physical closeness but emotional and spiritual connection. It has been rightly said “The important thing is to strive towards a goal which is not immediately visible. That goal is not the concern of the mind, but of the spirit.”
~Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

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How To Improve & Define Your Relationships

Everyone has relationships with anyone they interact with, even briefly. It might be the clerk at the grocery store or the gas station attendant, or it might be your significant other. Have you ever given any significant thought to the type of relationships that you have with these people, or how to improve that relationship if it is not up to the level that you desire?

First of all, you need to determine how you appear to those people. Try to put yourself in their position and look at yourself in the environment where they would typically see you and interact with you. What type of person would they describe you to be? Would they think you are sour on life and always negative? Would they think you are full of life and energy and always upbeat? The image that you portray to them will speak volumes about the type of relationship you have with them.

More importantly, how is your relationship with the people in your life who are most important to you? If you have a spouse or significant other, the same rules and logic apply – how do you appear to them? Do they see you as typically grumpy, tired, and sour on life in general, or do they see you as the full of life, positive, and energetic person that attracted them to you in the first place? Has that relationship changed over the years? If so (and it almost certainly has over time), what steps are you taking to regain that positive outlook and mentality that got your love relationship off to a good start in the first place? If your answer to that question is “nothing”, you unfortunately are not alone according to current studies, but at the same time, be aware that the particular relationship that we are talking about is not going to get better. In fact, chances are excellent that the relationship will, in all likelihood, continue to deteriorate.

On the other hand, you may be in relationships where you do not want to be. Are you in an abusive relationship? Again, studies indicate that an abusive relationship is much more common than most people think, where some estimates indicate that an abusive relationship exists in an astounding 1 in 8 marital or spousal relationships. Note that the word “abusive” does not necessarily mean physical abuse. If physical abuse is part of your relationship, you are encouraged to report it to your local police since that is not tolerated. But it is up to YOU to report it.

But the vast majority of abusive relationships do not include physical abuse. Rather, it is the emotional and mental abuse, which can be every bit as bad. Maybe that person takes every opportunity to cut you down or belittle you, whether in your home or out in public. Maybe that person has developed some habits that they have taken up for the primary reason that they know for a fact that it bothers you. Or maybe things have gotten to the point where the two of you cannot even calmly discuss something like the weather without the discussion digressing into a shouting match about some totally unrelated topic.

In a marital relationship, both parties share the responsibility equally for the welfare and continued health of that relationship. It cannot be done by only one partner, regardless of how badly that one partner may want a healthy relationship – it is a two way street. The pitfall that many couples fall into is that the responsibility for the health of the relationship is left primarily to one partner, and although that may work in the very short term, such an arrangement is doomed to inevitable failure.

Be aware that ANY relationship you have is a two way street. You and the other person share the responsibility of the health of that relationship, as well as any compromises that either of both of you need to make for the longevity of your relationship. At the end of the day, it all comes down to how important that relationship is to BOTH of you, not either one of you individually.

About Author

Jon is a computer engineer who maintains web sites on a variety of topics based on his knowledge and experience. You can read more about Relationships Advice at his web site at Relationship Types.



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Relationship: Be Yourself

Be original! Always remember we value that is original. Anything that is not real attracts you at the first look but after some time you do not admire it anymore as you thought it to be something else. This theory applies to relations too. Be original, your real self. People love you for what you are and not what you pretend to be. If to impress somebody you act to be somebody else you will not be able to attract the person for long. So always be yourself. Never put on what you are not.

Suppose you are a person who is very modern in thoughts and enjoys life to the fullest. You meet a person who is little conservative. You get attracted and to win that person you try to be conservative who you are not, then it is not going to work for long. How long can you pretend to be someone you are not? You make your life miserable as you are trying to change your real self, a person who enjoyed life to the fullest. Moreover the other person sooner or later will come to know about the reality. You cannot pretend for long and change yourself completely. That person is not going to like it as he/she admired you for being a conservative and not an avant-garde. Therefore never pretend to be what you are not and let people love and admire for what you actually are your real self.
Any relationship turns out to be successful when the partners are honest with each other and never hide things from each other. If you hide your self and portray yourself as somebody else the for sure relationship is not going to last for long. After all a relationship is based on honesty and if you begin with cheating each other then you cannot stick in a relationship for long.

Get out of dreams and be in the real world. You have to learn to be practical in life. Pretending to be what you are not and getting into a long lasting relationship with a happy ending is to be seen in movies not in real life, off course exceptions are everywhere and it is rare. So whenever you are getting into a relationship, be honest with each other.

Another very important and a contrary point here is that if you are into a relationship since long and now are facing problems the reason could be that you have changed. Do not forget yourself in the busy life. We generally tend to forget ourselves in the busy world trying to maintain our relations, looking after the children and progressing towards our career. When you lose your real self you attract your partner less. Just ponder over the things you did for what you were admired and loved by your mate. Maybe you have changed to some extent. You don’t do the things your partner liked anymore. You have forgotten your real self. Try to remember the look, the qualities you had and the activities you did that brought you two together. Try recalling the things that attracted your partner towards you. Try to be that same person again and make your relationship a long lasting and happy one.

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Relationship: A Night of Passion

Intimacy and passion are significant in a relationship. A relationship is lifeless and boring if it lacks in passion and intimacy. Update your relationship with a night of passion. Get intimacy and passion in your relationship. A relationship tends to become boring if you start losing the intimacy and passion. You need to enjoy being together in an intimate way. Make your intimate time together special. Surprise your mate with a candle night dinner, soft music, a bottle of wine and a variety of passionate things for your lover to be together.

Do things together. Go to bed at night together. Happy partner never resist going to bed together. Walk hand in hand and feel the intimacy between the two of you. Hug each other when you meet after a break. Let that passion grow to strengthen the relationship. For a healthy relationship intimacy is very important. Physical intimacy helps you bring your soul together thus strengthens the relationship. It is a part of healing and rebuilding your relationship. Although it is difficult and awkward in the beginning yet it is crucial. Intimacy is very important in a relationship.

A relationship that is based on both emotional and physical intimacy is guaranteed to be successful and long lasting. A relationship does not last long if there is no emotional attachment between the partners. Emotions work like magnets that hold the partners together. How do you know that you are emotionally attached to your partner? Well! If you care for your lover, are worried about your partner and have respect then it is an indication of emotional attachment.

The couples, who are close to each other, feel for each other and at the same time show their love and care outwardly never face shortcomings in their relationship. It has been well said, “If you love somebody show it”. Love, if not expressed outwardly dies. Physical intimacy is equally important along with emotional intimacy to let your love grow. If you love your partner show it .While taking a walk just hold the hand of your lover or stop to give a gentle kiss. When you return from work give a warm hug to your mate.

Intimacy is all about caring, loving, honesty, openness with each other and respect for each other. You should respect each other and be open with each other. It is then that you will feel a close bond between the two of you. A relationship with this kind of intimacy is strong and stable.

A passionate lover is the one all are looking for. If you are a passionate lover there is always a kind of energy and excitement in your relationship. This passion never lets your love fade. There is a kind of zeal in the relationship that keeps up the excitement between the partners.

Passion and intimacy are the key factors to let the relationship going as fresh as ever so never let it go out of your life.


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Relationship: Realistic Expectations

“How romantic, I wish I too have such a lover, such a relationship”.

Most of us are fascinated by the love affairs of others. We expect a relationship to be filled with love and passion. We often feel that in a relationship the couples will be holding hands and spending the whole day looking into the eyes of each other. No fights, no arguments and only love, just perfect for each other. We too desire such a relationship, something what we see outwardly. Are we being realistic? No, it is the public image of a relationship. There is a lot of hard work put in that relationship to keep it happy and strong.

In the beginning of a relationship every thing seems to be rosy and sweet. Everything goes well and in a smooth way. You are happy with each other and in deep love. You find your world to be bliss. There is romance and love. With the passage of time all that love and romance vanishes away and you are left with conflicts, arguments and bitterness. You are disappointed. The reason behind it is our unrealistic expectations.
Your lover is not a superhero do not expect him to get moon from the sky neither your lover is a superwoman don’t expect her to be a magician. None of us are perfect. All of us have some faults and defects in us. We should learn to accept people with their faults and respect for what they are.

Whenever we get into a relationship we have great expectations from each other. We look out for all we thought and expected from our partners. Mostly we face disappointments as we expect too much from our partners and are unrealistic in our expectations. This often leads to a split in a relationship. Do not expect your man to hold your and keep loving you all day he has to go to work. Do not expect your woman to be working all day in the house she has her career to pursue. You have to be realistic in your approach and not live completely in a romantic world.

After you have a child your life becomes more demanding. You have added responsibilities. To have the same expectations of life filled with love and romance as during courtship is unrealistic when you become parents. There are more responsibilities to be filled in less time. You cannot avoid the work and time to be spent after your children. This automatically means spending less time with your spouse and less of romance. You should not be disappointed but be practical and whenever possible take out time for each other.

You should learn to understand your partner and know him/her well. You should be aware of the shortcomings of your partner. You should know the drawbacks of your partner. Do not expect him or her to that which you know is not possible for your mate.
You should learn to separate romance from reality. This does not mean that there should be no place for romance in a relationship but that you should also learn to be a realistic. Never ignore the reality and come out from your world of dreams. High and unrealistic expectations lead to disappointment.


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Relationship: Listen to How You Talk

Listening is an important factor in a happy relationship. Unless you listen to your partner you will never know about his or her feelings. Listening carefully to your partner improves your married life but listening to yourself does wonders. It is equally important to listen to how you talk. Listen to the tone of your talk. Generally we do not care to consider to how we talk and what impression we give to the listener. But it is important to listen to you.

Sensitivity is the core factor of all the feelings. A sensitive person has the ability to conquer all. A person is sensitive about you; you definitely react in a positive manner. Be sensitive towards your relationship and feel the bliss of it. If you are sensitive then for sure you are going to listen to how you speak and how your partner feels about it. You have to listen to the tone when you speak. Are you polite, soft and sound caring or just the opposite? When a person is harsh, impolite, rude or uncaring in speech he or she is destroying the relationship without realization.

How you speak to your partner has a great impact on the opposite sex. None of us like to be spoken in a rude and harsh manner. We feel hurt and insulted. And when you speak in such a tone to your mate then you are definitely hurting your partner and doing harm to your relationship. It is a must for all of us to mind our tone, improve the way we speak.
Whenever you speak see how your partner reacts. See the facial expression. You’ll know how you’ve spoken. This is how you learn to listen to yourself to how you talk. If you have got a rude answer you will know that you haven spoken in a manner that is unpleasant and something not appreciated by your partner. You do not have to take special classes for that but little care take makes you a changed person with a pleasing tone when you speak. You have some steps to be kept in mind and follow them.

Firstly be polite, especially when you want something to be done by your mate. This is not hypocrisy but good etiquette. Your partner will be happy to do the task and not offended when spoken otherwise. If you speak in a bossy way, your partner is not going to like it and maybe the work is not done.

Secondly never speak in an angry tone even when you are not. You give an impression of not liking the person spoken to. The mate unnecessarily develops false feelings of not being admired and cared for. Change your tone. Be soft when you talk. Do not give your partner a false impression.

Show concern when you talk to your partner. When you ask for something to eat ask her too to join you. When you want you partner to help you clean the room, do ask if he is tired or not.

Listening to how you talk is a significant factor in maintaining a relationship. If you learn to listen to your talk you will not hart your partner unknowingly. When you talk, talk with emotions. Never sound dead. The partner should feel what you talk. You say you love him or her, does he/she feel like that. Make your partner feel you really love him or her but for that first learn to listen to how you talk and say, “I love you”.

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9 Stupid Mistakes to Avoid While Dating Online - For Guys

Internet online dating takes patience and practice. Just because you are seated at your own computer doesn't mean that people will come to chat with you for no reason. Even in this medium of Internet dating, you must take the initiative and actively seek to contact those you like.

But even if you contact some people or they contact you, there are some incredibly stupid things guys are doing on Internet dating and singles sites ad than complain that all women are ignoring them.

Women are searching men which know to make them feel good and have great time with. They are looking for someone intelligent, someone who listens, a man with a good sense of humor, a well-rounded person with a positive attitude.

If you want to get some responses and even get to know closely women by online dating you have to stop doing the mistakes that are chasing all the women away. So:

1. Women browse profiles to find their match just like you do. Post a good recent picture of yourself, a nice picture that shows your sense of humor or style. Do not send women pictures of your "privates". They will ask if they want to see that.

2. Make sure your profile contains proper spelling and grammar. Women like an intelligent person. Do not ruin your chances with simple mistakes in your profile. Take some time to get it right guys and you will get a response.

3. Women usually like men with some class, so don't choose a nickname that has a sexual innuendo (unless you are on an adult dating site). You don't want to give the impression that you're just searching for a one night stand.

4. Don't use negative words in your profile. Women are much more likely to be attracted to a positive person.

5. Send individual emails and put some thought into contacting women on these dating sites. Women get 100 emails a day from all sorts of guys. If you copy and paste 10 exactly same emails and send them off you just go over-looked.

6. Show women that you are a caring person. Get to know the woman. Ask questions to learn about whom she is, what she does, etc. Don't talk only about yourself.

7. Do not pretend that you are willing to fly half way round the world to meet someone you have been chatting to when using online dating sites if you are not really serious. It's not fair on anyone including you. It's easy to get carried away with a lovely person seven thousand miles away, but are you really going to get out of that chair and go and meet them? If you are, you have our utmost support and respect. If you are really only looking for someone in your state or close to home then stick with that and make it clear.

8. If you are married don't lie, tell from the very beginning. Women can feel this and it gets you nowhere. If you are sincere maybe you find someone who is willing to spend some good time with you.

9. If a woman tells you that she is not interested in you do not keep sending her messages. You are losing your time and she can complain that you are harassing her.
Be patient, it takes time to find someone special when using online dating sites and dating services, like anywhere else for that matter.

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