Tuesday, March 6, 2007

How To Score More Points In Your Relationship

Everyone wants to have a wonderful relationship but they usually don't seem to make it a priority nor do they have the right skills. Learning to have an A+ relationship doesn't have to be hard and boring. You can make it fun and exciting. Getting good grades in your relationship is easier than you might think.

If you want your relationship to improve, you can change it. Be the one to get things started. Don't whine that you don't have time for this kind of stuff. Don't wait for your partner to make the first move. Don't take an approach of "I will if you will." You need to be the one who gets it started.

Scoring a low grade in your relationship is an indicator that you need to change your approach. A wise woman once taught me that "If you always do what you've always done; you'll always get what you've always gotten." It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure that one out. Before you change your approach, you need to know what you are shooting for. What is the ideal vision you have for your relationship? Strive to be as specific as possible. By being clear about what you want to accomplish you are more likely to achieve your desired outcome.

Follow these grade point enhancement strategies and you will be on your way to getting the A+ relationship you have always wanted:

1) Take time to assess what kind of partner you truly are. You can't start to improve until you know who you are and how you actually perform. It is easy to fool yourself into believing that you know all there is to know about relationships. Even the experts will tell you that there is always more to be learned.

2) Hold onto the hope that you can score a high grade in your relationship. Positive expectation is an extremely powerful position. You become what you think about. See yourself as a great partner. See your partner as being extremely fulfilled in a relationship with you.

3) Keep away from people who try to belittle your efforts. Negative people always try to make you feel stupid about trying to be better. In school, I remember the bright students were commonly considered uncool or nerdy for getting good grades. I see people who are afraid to show their partner love and respect for fear of what others might say or think. Don't get caught up in these concerns. Surround yourself with people who have A+ relationships and are proud to love and respect their mate.

4) Don't spend too much time deliberating when you will commit yourself to becoming a great partner. Just do it. If you wait for the perfect time or a time in which you are caught up on your list of things to do, you'll never have a great relationship. If you have a lot of responsibilities, strive to eliminate tasks that are non-essential. A total commitment to your relationship will help you get your priorities in order.

5) Improve your vocabulary. Your language will determine your destiny. Do your thoughts and words build up your relationship or do they destroy it? Secretly thinking negative things about your partner is almost as bad as saying them. Fill your mind and your mouth with words that magnify a wonderful future for your relationship.

6) Improve your memory. Remember all of the dates that are important to your relationship. These include: anniversaries, birthdays, Christmas, and of course, Valentine's Day.

7) Make sure your study area is comfortable. Clutter will distract you from focusing on your relationship. Get caught up on tasks and keep your space clean. It is hard for most women to relax when there are things that need to be done. Most men see a clean home as a reflection of your love for him.

8) Your ability to concentrate on your partner is crucial to scoring a higher grade in your relationship. Establish study rules. Make sure you spend time alone with your partner. Your dates don't need to be about addressing the problems in your relationship. The agenda needs to be about promoting the love you have for each other. I don't recommend a specific date night for most couples but do schedule time together and whatever you do, don't miss this class.

9) Get a tutor or join a study group. If you realize you are really lacking in skills then I suggest you get help. Seek the guidance of a therapist or join some type of group that promotes relationship skills. Churches tend to provide classes for instruction. These environments allow you to trade notes with others and learn from their successes and failures.

10) Pay attention to what you are doing during the times you are really close and getting along. Do this consistently. If you need help identifying these patterns, I suggest you pull out old photographs of when the two of you first started dating. Back then you knew how to score big points with each other. How did you think, talk, and act back then? I worked once and most likely will work again.

Just think what being a top student in your relationship will mean for you? No more hassles with C's or D's. No more worries about conflicts and dissatisfaction. You are the one who will choose your own place in your relationship. Make the best choice, and then go for it with everything you have within you.

About the Author

Mark Webb is the author of How To Be a Great Partner and founder of Partner Focused Relationships™. Sign up for Mark Webbs Relationship Strategies Ezine ($100 value). Just visit his website at http://www.powerfulrelationshipadvice.com or http://www.therelationshipspecialist.com.

Article Source: OnlineEarnings Article Board

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