Friday, February 23, 2007

10 Tips to Make Long-Distance Relationships Work

10 Tips to Make Long-Distance Relationships Work
By Jay Ong

It's not easy being in a long-distance relationship. We often hear that those involved in long-distance relationships eventually drift apart and break up. That does not mean that long-distance relationships won't work. It can work and has worked for many. As in any form of relationship, there should be a strong commitment from you and your partner to overcome the odds in a long-distance relationship.

The following are 10 tips that will help you succeed in a long-distance relationship:

1. Set relationship rules and expectations from the start

Have a mutual understanding that you will not date others, that you will communicate daily, and that you'll see each other once every one, two, or three months in person.

2. Communicate daily

Make use of modern communications media. If you can't afford to call on the phone daily, use mobile text messaging, e-mail or instant messaging. Invest in a webcam and make use of video calling feature offered by most instant messaging software today.

3. Be clear about your feelings

Being ambiguous about yourself would only create a guessing game that you don't need in your long-distance relationship. Be articulate with your partner about your feelings, expectations, clashing issues, and aspirations. When communicating with your partner, be honest. Keep your partner in the loop of things happening around your life and get your partner to reciprocate.

4. Provide constant reassurance of your feelings

Don't be afraid to say "I love you" often. Build the confidence in your partner that you are committed in the relationship.

5. Send care packages

Send personalized gift packages, be it cards, stuffed animals, photos, or collectibles. Be creative as you can get in personalizing the gift. Your partner will appreciate the effort that you've put in.

6. Meet regularly

Plan regular meetings and avoid making postponements at your fancy. As you do not see each other daily in person, take the extra mile to make the meeting special.

7. Trust each other

Trust is key in a long-distance relationship. Having constant doubts about your partner's motives will actually be detrimental to the relationship.

8. Be patient

You may feel things move slowly in a long-distance relationship. It is one of those odds you have to learn to overcome. With patience, true love will come with the test of time.

9. Make special occasions extra special

On special occasions like Valentine's Day, anniversaries, or your partner's birthday, make these occasions extra special. Take this opportunity to talk to your loved one on the phone longer or spend more time chatting online. Post a private video of yourself with your special greeting on an online video service. Perhaps you could also make a surprise visit.

10. Keep yourself busy

You can't be brooding over your distant loved one every second. Get a life. Involve yourself in activities that you are passionate about. When you get together, share your passion with your partner and he/she will find you a more interesting person. Also, don't forget spending social time with your family and friends. Having a relationship doesn't mean you have to burn bridges.

Long-distance relationship need not be dreadful. It can be fun. As the saying goes, "distance makes the heart grow fonder". Be appreciative of the fact that you're special in someone's heart even though that someone is miles away. With the right ingredients of trust, patience, and most importantly, commitment, your long-distance relationship holds much promise.

Jay Ong runs a website featuring articles and resources on dating and relationships. For more information, visit

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Mark Tomin said...

From my personal experience, I would like to add that it is a good idea to keep expectations low. After 4 months of a long distance relationship, when we finally met we were quite dissapointed and soon broke up.

Nationwide Long Distance

Anonymous said...

With the advancement of technology it has been easier for me to have a long distance relationship. Chatting online, sending emails, and Skype really has done it for me. This has truly helped